“YouTube is a forum not just for amateur pranks but also for career reinvention.

“We did not have a funeral. Nobody really treats a 9 week old fetus like that. Not even pro-lifers.

“We spend too much time hiding illness. There is an assumption that I must always look the same. Being sick is no fun. But you can have fun while you’re sick. ..cancer of the salivary gland spread to my right lower jaw. A segment of the mandible was removed. Two operations to replace the missing segment were unsuccessful, both leading to unanticipated bleeding. A tracheostomy was necessary so, for the time being, I cannot speak.

“..the author of the winning entry will be awarded a High-Resolution JPEG of an “Official Olympiad of Misguided Geeks at Worse Than Failure” First Prize Trophy. In addition, if you’d like, I’ll toss in a brand new laptop (choice of a 15” MacBook Pro or Sony VAIO VGN-SZ430N/B) so you can view this JPEG.

“Despite having been on the job for nine months, RadioShack CEO Julian Day said Monday that he still has “no idea” how the home electronics store manages to stay open. One of Day’s theories about RadioShack’s continued solvency involves wedding DJs, emergency cord replacement, and off-brand wireless telephones. Another theory entails countless RadioShack gift cards that sit unredeemed in their recipients’ wallets. Day has even conjectured that the store is “still coasting on” an enormous fortune made from remote-control toy cars in the mid-1970s.

“The grisly events at Virginia Tech involved no struggle, no sacrifice, no great principle. They were random and pointless. Those who died were not soldiers in any cause. They were not murdered by our enemies. They were not martyrs. ..in expectation of rather stiffer challenges to our composure, we might practice nailing the colors to the mast rather than engaging in a permanent dress rehearsal for masochism and the lachrymose.

“If we were going to redesign the Net, law enforcement would show up with their requests. Copyright owners would want consideration. ISPs would want some concessions, and broadcasters. The FCC would show up with an anti-indecency strategy. We’d see an endless parade of lawyers and lobbyists. The original design of the Internet escaped this fate because nobody thought it mattered. The engineers were left alone while everyone else argued about things that seemed more important. That’s a lucky break that won’t be repeated.

“The progress of Jayawardene’s innings was not unlike the shaping of a diamond. It was raw to begin with - carefully negotiated dot-balls, as he reached 17 off 47 balls, and, as the right environment was created slowly but surely, 23 runs came off as many balls; then, as the carbon crystal was almost worth its weight in carats, Jayawardene applied immense heat and pressure, carting 60 off 30 balls; finally, when the stone was done he cut and polished his gem, taking 15 off 5 balls, and left it out there for the world to admire.

“coprolite –noun: a stony mass consisting of fossilized fecal matter of animals.